It’s been fun. That’s all I can think of after tonight’s Sharks game. That’s it, I’m through. I’ve been one of their biggest fans for 14 years and I just can’t take it anymore. Sick of those big losers not even showing up in the second round of the playoffs YEAR after YEAR after YEAR. I wouldn’t mind if they got beat, but they just didn’t show up. That’s it, I’m done.

It’s been fun.

I’m not investing 300 hours a season watching these bunch of failures. That’s it. The San Jose Failures.

I don’t even want to see Graham’s face tomorrow at school. As if the computer lab wasn’t bad enough, now I’ve got to face this canuck, knowing full well that everything he said was right, and everything I thought was wrong. Graham’s a good guy, don’t get me wrong. All I can hope for at this point is for the Flyers to finish the job for me and knock the habs out.

The sad part is that I was a habs fan, I love Montreal and French Canadians in general. I give them (and the French themselves) a lot of flak, but the truth is I really am jealous. I love that language. I wish I spoke it. I wish I was able to grow up in a hockey hotbed like Montreal. I wish I could live, study, and cook in Paris. The French have a great philosophy on life.

Considered picking up the language and trying to find an externship in Paris but it just doesn’t seem practical. How hard would it be to learn a language, on your own, from scratch, in less than a year? To move there without knowing a single person…I’m just not that kind of person to just say fuck it and head off into the great unknown in Europe. I wish I was…

Get so caught up in what makes sense all the time that it stops making sense at some point. When do you just say ‘to hell with this’ and follow your heart? Brain trumps the heart on a daily basis. I’ve got plenty of yin, and not enough yang. Just no balance.

Feeling a bit like a monk lately. Putting my chemical romance aside until the weekend is hard, but it’s an easy decision to make. I’d love a beer right now. I’d love a half dozen of its buddies, too. Would kill for a joint or some shrooms, maybe some ecstasy. Nope, not me. Not now. Too focused on school to let that stuff distract me. It wouldn’t make sense, remember?

And don’t even get me started on girls. I can’t even remember the last time I was romantically involved. That’s fucking sad. Having my 25th birthday on Friday and it doesn’t feel like there’s a whole lot to celebrate. Been a little down lately. I know I’m just being hard on myself. I’ve come a long way in the last 3 months, and it’s a terrible habit to constantly be disappointed in yourself. Meh. Happiness is only real when shared.