Complexity

Well, wine class is over. Has been for a week now, and it’s amazing how quickly I went from a total nub to a total wine geek. It’s an area of great enjoyment for me, and something I’ll definitely expand on as the years go by. That being said…

Culinary Management! My new class, a two week course that is currently half over. It’s a trip, really..it’s like…idk, I never realized exactly how much work went into starting and owning your own restaurant. It’s kind of daunting to think about. Maybe it’s because we basically have to do an entire business model and everything that comes with it in only two weeks, with a group of four. This is something that typically takes 6+ months in the real world, bringing together the dreams and aspirations of a chef’s entire life work. We get the two week crash course, so it’s basically the same thing. Right….

Either way, that side of the business is basically one big desk job. It’s probably got a high level of satisfaction that comes along with having your whole dream in place, where nearly anything and everything is under your control. If and when I ever own a restaurant, I’m thinking I’ll have a partner to handle that shit. I’ll stick to the kitchen.

Kinda the same ole’ same ‘ole, eh. Well, life’s not always that simple. I met a girl, I really like her. Of course, things are horribly complicated. That’s what life’s all about though, right? It’s about taking risks, come hell or high water. Who knows where it’ll go.

This weekend itself has been pretty fucking terrible. Pretty much all of my plans completely fell through. I sat at home in my swelteringly hot room the entire weekend thus far. I wasn’t always alone, but it’s still not what I was looking for. I don’t feel like I got that release I really needed, and really don’t feel like going back to school on Monday. It’s this management class I’m telling you. It’s one thing to know how to cost out a kitchen and do inventory and shift schedules and purchasing and all the things that go along with being an executive chef. It’s quite another thing to learn what it takes to be a successful restaurant owner.

Profit/loss statements, lease agreements, balance sheets, business models. Dealing with licenses, health inspectors, etc etc. The list just goes on and fucking on. It’s like, I guess I should be happy. I know what to expect if/when I decide to go into business for myself. I mean I’ll keep an open mind but, yeah.

Anyway, after this week is summer break. It’s only a week long, thankfully. I’m expecting to be fairly bored. It’s good, I’ll probably force myself to finally get a job which is entirely overdue. There really is no reason whatsoever that I’m unemployed except being lazy. At first I thought I wouldn’t be qualified and was kinda like, uneasy about the thought of going out and making a fool out of myself. At this point I’m pretty sure I could do the work I’d want to do, I just haven’t the experience to walk into the door and get that job. Fairly certain I could work my way up if I could get my foot in the door.

After summer break will be perhaps the most enjoyable two months of school thus far. 3 weeks of modern European cuisine, 3 weeks of the cuisine of Asia, and then 3 weeks in foods of the Americas class. Awesome! These classes are a step up on the skills classes I was accustomed to. I’m looking forward to taking things to the next level.

Now all I’ve got to do is make it through these next two weeks, and get my social life sorted out. Get out there and get a job, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll turn a big corner in my life and start totally supporting myself.

wineo

It’s amazing how much you can learn in a week.  To go from seriously haven’t absolutely no clue about a subject to feeling like you’re an expert in a week is a ridiculous thing.

This last week we had our intro to wine studies class.  It was a 25 hour course over the 5 days, which is really short, but I learned so much.  I went from seriously just feeling like red is red and white is white and most wines are the same to feeling like I could look taste and smell a wine and just know what it goes with.

I spent the whole of last week drunk.  It was great.  I love life, I love everything about it.  If you’re reading this I probably love you, too.

It’s always great to get instant and immediate reinforcement.  After school today a few friends and myself went to a fairly upscale bar/restaurant known for their drinks.  I took a look at the wine list, in specific the French section, and actually could say I knew what I was talking about.  It was no longer a mystery, the puzzle was solved.  I can take a look at a 2004 Chablis Grand Cru and know exactly what I’m getting.  A light chardonnary, crisp clean and refreshing, on the lighter side of Chardonnays due to the area where the grapes are grown.  It would be an amazing crisp wine with a lighter dish like seafood, especially with a cream or butter sauce because the acid cuts the fat.  That or a nice starter like Oysters.  Isn’t that amazing, fuck..it’s great.

I aced the final, another A to my list I’m sure.  Still going strong with straight A’s, closing in on halfway through my program.  Life makes so much sense right now, everything’s falling into place.  Hope everything is good for the rest of you, life is too fucking beautiful to waste.

ezpz

Things couldn’t really be going any better right now.  I’ve adjusted to the demands of my class and have taken the next step and have gone back to completely dominating in every aspect.  My organization and time management owns.  My food owns, my timing owns.  Everything comes together with time leftover to focus on my plating and finishing touches.

I haven’t so much as lost a single point at all in I can’t even tell you how long.  My food has become the rubric for what things are supposed to look and taste like in my class.  When someone’s food doesn’t come out just right, Chef Amy usually asks if they can taste to mine so they can see what it’s supposed to be.

When people come and take tours of the school, she is like Cory’s food is perfect, go have a bite.

I can’t believe how far I’ve come in only 2 weeks.

I could post a dozen pictures of all the amazing grub but honestly I just don’t have the time or desire right now.  Spending so much time with my friends lately that I don’t really have it in me to sit here and figure all that shit out and take that kind of time.  Just trust me, it owns.

On a slightly related note, I’ll probably be moving into an apartment and out of the dorm soon.  Will be nice to have a real kitchen again that I can make my own (well, sharing it, but still.)

One day I’ll get around to posting everything.  I make sure to take pictures of as much as I can, even if it’s on a stupid shitty phone.  At least it’s something.  One day I’ll probably look back and smile.

beat

I’m beat. I’ve been picked up by this whirlwind this week, and it’s really taking its toll. In a good way, mind you. Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I feel stronger. This week really taught me a lot, and It’s still only Thursday night.

Today started bright and early at 5:28am, and here it is at 10:58 pm. I’ve had a grand total of one 10minutes nap. That’s it.

Normally that’s not really that big of a deal, but for some reason today I just feel like I worked myself to the bone. School was long. We made two dishes of food, and they honestly came out great. Fried calamari with a homemade garlic aioli (french garlic mayo) served with a grilled portabello mushroom was the appetizer. A poached striped bass over a bed of sauteed spinach served with a beautiful sauce (really no name for it, it was a fish veloute with pan drippings, finished off with some cream, egg yolk and seasoning) and a side of sauteed potatoes with a parsley butter.

Coming Full Circle

I am back in a kitchen. Life is beautiful.

First time in almost two months, and boy have I missed it. The classroom I’m at is right across the hallway from the first classroom I had back on the first day of school. It really hit me when I saw the batch of noobs on their first day today. They had gone downstairs and gotten their equipment, knife bags, books, all that junk, and came upstairs and was waiting in the hallway. Looking into our kitchen. Just like I did, over 3 months ago.

It’s hard to believe it’s only 3 months. Fuck it feels like years. I remember looking into this kitchen and being amazed. A whole classroom of people that actually looked like they knew what they were doing. They were juggling 3-4 pots and pans at once, pulling stuff in and out of ovens with just a side towel, chopping and dicing stuff so fast it blew the mind. Today, I saw them looking at me, being that guy I was so amazed with just a few months prior. It feels good.

I walk around these days actually knowing where I’m going and what I’m doing. That sense of confidence is just great. Like people walk around their whole life and never feel that shit.

The class itself is great. It’s has a whole new set of challenges, besides the level of the food being refined, and plating and presentation being more important - each table has a designated time when their food is due.

Now I’m not talking due as in, you can finish whenever you want as long as it’s before 10:40. If your appetizers are due at 10:40, well guess what? It’s due AT 10:40. You’ve got a 5minute window to turn it in, and if it’s later than that, you lose half your daily points. Did I mention the vast majority of the points in this class are based on daily points? Awesome.

It will take a little while to get used to. It would be a lot easier if I had actually cooked some of these things before. Like today, we finished up our lecture at like 9:30 and our table had till 10:40 for appetizers and 11:10 for the entree. I was fully done with all the prep I could’ve done at like….9:50. All my vegetables that needed to be blanched were blanched, all my vegetables cut and ready to go, all my spices out, everything sliced and diced. So I kinda stood around not doing a whole lot. I didn’t really want my food to get cold, so I hung out for 20 minutes or so before I got going again.

Let’s just say, I was a little pressed for time towards the end and turned in something I really wish I had 5 more minutes to refine. Misjudged how much time things would take me, oh well. I managed a 16/20 just on stupid mistakes alone today. It’s probably the worst grade I’ve ever gotten on a day’s work in a kitchen, but that’s ok. I won’t make these mistakes again, so it’s for the best. Plenty of time left to nail this class in the pooper and finish it up with another A.

Tomorrow’s menu includes a french onion soup, a cheese omelet, and a pork chop with some kind of prune stuffing with a sauce robert, served with a vegetable medley saute and garlic mashed potatoes. Yum!

Wish I took a picture of today’s stuff. Cream of broccoli soup as a starter, with a sauteed chicken breast over a bed of rice pilaf, served with a delicious chasseur (a pan sauce reduction with mushrooms and tomatoes) sauce and a side of zucchini provencal. It was unreal, so yummy. I typically think chicken breast is a waste of space and it’s dry and tasteless and just all around crap. Changed my mind on that one, this dish is something I’d order in a restaurant.

Pandora is playing all my favorite tunes today, the weather mellowed out. Things are just looking great right now. Can’t wait to wakeup tomorrow.

Peace!

Another zzzz week

Two weeks in the computer lab down, one to go. Got an A in my software class (a real shock I know) and am well on my way towards an A in my purchasing/kitchen math class. The information will be really useful maybe 5+ years down the line when I’m running a kitchen, but at the moment it’s not really all that relevant. Good stuff to have, it’s just hard to be too enthusiastic about it.

A lot of people are having a really hard time with all the math. I spend about half my day helping out my classmates, which is good in a couple ways. First off, I love these guys to death, I want to see them succeed. The last thing I want is for them to be left behind. We all work so well together, I’d hate to see them get left back on our kitchen classes and fall into another class.

Secondly, there’s no better way to learn this info than to teach it to someone else. If I do my own work I might grasp the concept and obviously understand it, but if I then go and have to explain what I did to five other people then you get it on lockdown so hard you’ll never forget.

Outside of school, been a pretty basic week. My birthday was awesome, both my personal celebration at the bar and going to my parents’ house on Sunday. I love the bar downstairs and two doors down. It just feels cozy. A chill atmosphere with good, cheap delicious beer on tap and some awesome bartenders/owner/chef etc. Good people. I literally would spend every night there if I could both afford it financially and with the physical stress of a hangover on a daily basis.

Took my day at my parents’ house to cook 20 pounds of pork ribs. Smoked em up nice with a good spice rub, a little sauce at the end. Came out awesome. Took most of the leftovers home to Frisco with me and had lunch most of the week.

Went out drinking on wed. with a couple friends in the afternoon. Had a few pitchers and they bounced around 5pm. Went home, took a shower, said fuck that…got dressed and went down to the bar. Got home late, drunk…hungover on Thursday. Not my greatest idea ever, but at least it’s just computer class. I still nailed whatever we did yesterday, then slept it off when I got home.

Might sound like I drink a lot, but really idk…I don’t feel like it’s all that weird really. I mean I’m at school, right? It’s nice, I feel like I know so many people now. I could just hang around at school when classes are over and chill with just about anyone. I look at the newer students like they’re nubs when I’m a seasoned vet. Wonder how I’ll feel in a few months when I really have some experience to fall back on.

Feeling really comfortable all the time, it’s a good feeling.

Friday night will soon be upon me. Going out tonight, to temple. I love that bar, and I’ve been looking forward to Friday night all week. Probably grab a nap and some grub and head on down.

If anyone’s reading this, please support this worthy cause!

Still Maintaining

They posted the butchery grades today.  Another “A” in the books.  Honestly I’d have been disappointed if it came back any other way.  Three months into school and I’ve got perfect attendance and a 4.0 gpa.  I’ve got this shit on lockdown.

Got finals in one of my computer classes tomorrow.  Should be a piece of cake, I’ll be amazed if I get anything but another A.

Almost 1am, really should be getting to sleep.  Twenty-five times around the sun, I feel old.

Going drinking tonight, without a doubt.  I can feel the cold bubbles on my lips.  Been looking forward to this all week.  I don’t even care if my friends want to go, I’ll sit at the bar with a couple pitchers and be plenty satisfied.

I’m Divorced

It’s been fun. That’s all I can think of after tonight’s Sharks game. That’s it, I’m through. I’ve been one of their biggest fans for 14 years and I just can’t take it anymore. Sick of those big losers not even showing up in the second round of the playoffs YEAR after YEAR after YEAR. I wouldn’t mind if they got beat, but they just didn’t show up. That’s it, I’m done.

It’s been fun.

I’m not investing 300 hours a season watching these bunch of failures. That’s it. The San Jose Failures.

I don’t even want to see Graham’s face tomorrow at school. As if the computer lab wasn’t bad enough, now I’ve got to face this canuck, knowing full well that everything he said was right, and everything I thought was wrong. Graham’s a good guy, don’t get me wrong. All I can hope for at this point is for the Flyers to finish the job for me and knock the habs out.

The sad part is that I was a habs fan, I love Montreal and French Canadians in general. I give them (and the French themselves) a lot of flak, but the truth is I really am jealous. I love that language. I wish I spoke it. I wish I was able to grow up in a hockey hotbed like Montreal. I wish I could live, study, and cook in Paris. The French have a great philosophy on life.

Considered picking up the language and trying to find an externship in Paris but it just doesn’t seem practical. How hard would it be to learn a language, on your own, from scratch, in less than a year? To move there without knowing a single person…I’m just not that kind of person to just say fuck it and head off into the great unknown in Europe. I wish I was…

Get so caught up in what makes sense all the time that it stops making sense at some point. When do you just say ‘to hell with this’ and follow your heart? Brain trumps the heart on a daily basis. I’ve got plenty of yin, and not enough yang. Just no balance.

Feeling a bit like a monk lately. Putting my chemical romance aside until the weekend is hard, but it’s an easy decision to make. I’d love a beer right now. I’d love a half dozen of its buddies, too. Would kill for a joint or some shrooms, maybe some ecstasy. Nope, not me. Not now. Too focused on school to let that stuff distract me. It wouldn’t make sense, remember?

And don’t even get me started on girls. I can’t even remember the last time I was romantically involved. That’s fucking sad. Having my 25th birthday on Friday and it doesn’t feel like there’s a whole lot to celebrate. Been a little down lately. I know I’m just being hard on myself. I’ve come a long way in the last 3 months, and it’s a terrible habit to constantly be disappointed in yourself. Meh. Happiness is only real when shared.

A Trip “home”

It’s always an interesting experience going back to my old house. I lived with my parents for 24+ years, and I moved out only a few months ago, yet it doesn’t feel like home at all.

I got to spend some time with my niece and nephew, which is my real inspiration for going back to Fremont. I love those little brats. Gabe is about 2 and a half years old, and the little babygirl Bri is what, about 18 months or so?

The pics might be a few months old, but god damn…just look at those babies. I owe a lot to them. I used to hate kids. I still hate (other people’s) kids. I love -these- kids. Seeing them grow up really changed my life. It made me wake up and say, you know…there’s more to life than just sitting around. I wanted to get a good job. I wanted to be able to support a family so I could one day have a couple little babies like this to call my own.

It might not be the most manly thing to say, but it’s true. I wanna work hard, find the right girl and settle down - have a couple a couple babies and truly live life to its fullest.

The real trip home was the way back to frisco. I love this city, and I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. Got my laundry done and my room’s nice and clean. Now I just need to find something to eat…

Ugh

It’s 6:30 pm. I’m tired, hungover, and bored. My room smells a little bit like fish, and I just don’t have it in me to care. I’ve got the window cracked open, and that will have to do.

I’m not sure if anyone will ever read this. If anything I think I’m doing it for myself. Kinda wish i did this a few months ago before I started school, as a thing I could look back on later. On the off chance that someone does indeed read this, I guess a little background is called for.

My name is Cory Meyer, and Friday will be my 25th birthday. I live alone in San Francisco in my school’s dorm, and until just recently I more or less only existed online. I’ve been in school since the middle of February, and as of this date I (believe) I still have a 4.0 g.p.a.

School might be the only place where I even feel normal. Well, that and online. I’m an introverted person, and sometimes life just isn’t easy. It’s hard to feel like myself when I’m in the world. I don’t tell the people I care for the way I feel. I just don’t know how. I’ve got some friends, some people I’d consider really good friends, actually. I’m not so bad once I know someone.

I find it easier to relate to people online. Over the last few years I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time playing World of Warcraft. (WoW) It’s a fully immersive fantasy game. I’ve met some people through this game that in many cases I’d consider them as good, or in some cases better, friends, as anyone I’ve ever met in real life (IRL) I’m not really sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. There are some people I genuinely care for, and I’m pretty sure in some respects that it’s mutual. I guess that can’t really be a bad thing, even if it might not be conventional.

I stopped playing before I came to school, and I went so far as to uninstall the game and sell my account. It’s one thing I don’t ever see myself going back to. For that matter, I don’t see myself ever getting involved in anything even remotely similar to that. It’s like a drug, only worse.

I still keep in touch with most of the people I considered friends. It’s not like you can just cut that shit off. For that matter, I’m not sure I even want to. It might just be that extra push I need to get out there and really force myself into the world 100%, but you know - oh well.

Not sure why I really am able to feel normal when I’m at school. I feel like I belong. I’m with similarly like-minded people. I can’t put my finger on why or how, but I managed to be in a class with amazing people and we gelled almost instantly.

I love school. It feels like it started yesterday, but I’ve already went through 9 weeks of classes. Our first 6 weeks were broken down into 3 classes per day. Starting with a basic skills class for the first half of the day, we started with the basics of basics. Using a knife properly. From there we progressed to stocks, sauces, soups, and finally to different cooking techniques. Starting with how to cook simple grains like rice, to potatoes and eggs, to finally spending whole classes learning how to roast, braise, fry, sautee and all that. I really loved that class.

The rest of the day was broken in half with 2 other classes. A safety/sanitation course designed to help you get acquainted with the different health hazards and safety problems with a kitchen, and a “success/strategy” class. The safety/sani class is really kinda straight forward. They might as well rename it, “How to pass a health inspection” class. Nonetheless, it was useful information and I’m serv-safe-certified in the government’s eyes.

The last class we had was the success strategy class. There’s more to being an executive chef than cooking. You’re part manager, friend, villain, everything. This class was designed in part how to ’succeed’ in school; taking notes, becoming serious and identifying your priorities. Stuff like that. The other half, the half I think was actually useful and relevant to myself, was made to help you understand different types of personality types and learning styles. It’s a great tool to be able to identify different people and be able to talk to them on their own level.

I had 3 great teachers, and honestly I think it made a lot of difference.

Those classes took up the first 6 weeks of school. We then had spring break. Now, people are supposed to look forward to spring break, right? Not me. I think there’s something inherently wrong with not looking forward to spring break. Oh well. It sucked. I was bored. BORED. For fuck’s sake, I was bored on my own vacation. Too much time in the real world I guess.

I wish I had used that time to get a job, but instead I aimlessly drank most nights away. It’s not that I didn’t want to get a job, or for that matter, still want to get a job - I just can’t get myself to get started. I’m one of those people that are 100 or 0. If I do something I do it to the core. I am passionate beyond belief in this respect, and I just don’t half-ass anything. I’m also a procrastinator, and usually that first step is all that keeps me back in life. I just can’t force myself to get myself OUT THERE and actually actively find a job. I need the money, I need the experience, and I’d love to have something to do with my free time. There’s no logical reason for me to not be working right now - but here I am. At home on a Saturday night, when any respectable member of the culinary world is probably hard at work right now.

That being said, the last three weeks after spring break were great. I had just one class per day - butchery. They split our class in half, and honestly I couldn’t be happier with the way it all split. If I had to pick the people in my class, it wouldn’t have turned out all that much differently. I learned a lot, had a lot of fun, and retained a ton of information. At the same time, honestly - it was time to finish that class. It really took its toll on me. I can’t walk down the street now without seeing a dog and being like oh, well you’d just cut off the foot at the ankle, follow the leg to the knee and cut off the shank, go up and around the hind leg and follow the contour of the bone and cut off the leg. Skin it, cure it and hey we’ve got ourselves doggy ham.

I learned what there is to know, got a good feel for handling product, and now I get to move on. That class, overall, was awesome. Chef Allen Calhoun was awesome. I hope I get him again for another class down the line.

Monday starts a week of computer classes. We’ve got software/application stuff like excel and quicken for a week, and then 2 weeks of purchasing/kitchen math. Honestly it’s probably great information, and stuff I’ll need to know down the line. That being said, I’m not entirely sure I’m looking forward to it. Oh well, that’s life. On the bright side, I’ll get to see the other half of our original class. There’s a lot of people in there that I miss, and I’m looking forward to seeing again.

This entry really turned out long, I really wish I got to this months ago. I really credit David (espydon for those of you from WoW) for giving me the inspiration to get off my ass (figuratively, I’m definitely still sitting on my ass) and get this started.

I really should get started on laundry. I’ve got nothing clean for Monday. Nothing. At all. Butchery really took its toll on my uniforms. This smell is actually starting to get to me. Kinda glad I won’t have to filet any fish next week.